I once let someone borrow money.I handed it over with a smile and pride.It’s nothing, no worries.I love to help.I am a good person.Somewhere inside of my good person I noted the exchange, and thought myself Bigger. I thought the other person might feel that way too.
Spirit watched me and giggled.
I bought a person presents, and I cooked them dinners. I listened to every story and worry. I did errands for them.Somewhere inside I kept a list of what I did for them.The list grew and I began to see them differently,Because I was waiting for my return, and praise and thanks. I began to see them as selfish.Bitterness growled in my bellyAnd I began to barkWe drifted apart as my upset grew bigger.Didn’t they realize all I had done?What a generous person I was?
Spirit watched me and giggled some more.
I decided I would join a cause. I would announce my cause to the world.I would let everyone knowWhat good I was doingAnd what bad others were doingSomehow anger became my fuelAnd love got lostAnd I became sad
Spirit watched me and sighed, spooning me in my sleep
I was lostSo I became quietAnd gave time to me“I am exhausted!”I started to wonder what it was likeTo be me, without trying so hardI wondered why I would not let peopleGive to me too, just give.And I beganTo recallWhat was true giving
Giving is a seeing.
Spirit watched me and cried quiet love so as not to disturb my illumination
So I practicedOn how to giveAnd to give, without NeedWithout causeWithout desireBut to give simplyBecause I feelI appreciateAnd understandThat I love
I learned that Someone truly giving toMe is a powerful healerI am learning, to let themIn. Without worry of whatI give in return.Because when they simply Give. They are telling meThey understand meAnd love me.