GENEROSITY

I once let someone borrow money. I handed it over with a smile and pride. It’s nothing, no worries. I love to help. I am a good person. Somewhere inside of my good person I noted the exchange, and thought myself Bigger. I thought the other person might feel that way too.

Spirit watched me and giggled.

I bought a person presents, and I cooked them dinners. I listened to every story and worry. I did errands for them. Somewhere inside I kept a list of what I did for them. The list grew and I began to see them differently, Because I was waiting for my return, and praise and thanks. I began to see them as selfish. Bitterness growled in my belly And I began to bark We drifted apart as my upset grew bigger. Didn’t they realize all I had done? What a generous person I was?

Spirit watched me and giggled some more.

I decided I would join a cause. I would announce my cause to the world. I would let everyone know What good I was doing And what bad others were doing Somehow anger became my fuel And love got lost And I became sad

Spirit watched me and sighed, spooning me in my sleep

I was lost So I became quiet And gave time to me “I am exhausted!” I started to wonder what it was like To be me, without trying so hard I wondered why I would not let people Give to me too, just give. And I began To recall What was true giving

Giving is a seeing.

Spirit watched me and cried quiet love so as not to disturb my illumination

So I practiced On how to give And to give, without Need Without cause Without desire But to give simply Because I feel I appreciate And understand That I love

I learned that Someone truly giving to Me is a powerful healer I am learning, to let them In. Without worry of what I give in return. Because when they simply Give. They are telling me They understand me And love me.

Generosity feels so warm.

Lucy